THE SUM OF MY IDIOCY

advertizing parenting

2012-05-30T11:23:00.000-07:00

Last week, while driving around in Gilroy for work, I passed a couple billboards which said things like: “It’s my kitchen, my rules” and “It’s my TV, my rules.”

Why is the world advertising parenting techniques? Is it because people, sitting on their couches or driving around in their SUVs, are paying attention, though they apparently don’t pay much attention to their children rummaging through cupboards or flipping through television networks? Is it because people really need manipulation into caring?

Why do some people have kids? If people don’t want to parent, shouldn’t they not have kids? Ugh.

Things of interest to me today:

Obama's Kill List

Not My Life, a documentary on Human Trafficking. I just watched 2 documentaries on trafficking this weekend. One was put together by our government, one was called Not For Sale and was put together by a campaign of the same name. I just ordered Not My Life, which I am sure I will watch soon.

I just deleted a rant on how terrible and non-historical History Channel documentaries are, but oh well, I guess that will have to be for another day.

bride wars: why men are scared of women

2012-05-29T10:51:00.002-07:00

This is old (obviously), since this movie hasn't been in theatres for a while.

Once upon a time, my friend and I went to go see Bride Wars. That seemed like a movie I didn’t want to see, but thinking the company of my friend and the hour and a half of entertainment would be better than more sitting around in my room, I put on a pair of boots and a coat and found myself watching one of the scariest movies I’ve ever seen.

Yes, the idea of these two friends competing over a wedding venue had its comical moments. Oh, what petty pranks they played on each other (ie: oh, how shallow their friendship is if they can possibly fathom engaging in such cruel acts). The movie, however silly and ridiculous it may have been, was not the scary part. I wasn’t most irritated that I’d wasted my $10, I was horrified that the movie got made. Not because it was inherently horrible, but because there exist a multitude of women who on some level identify with the characters in that movie. That’s how that movie got made.

I, like many other girls, had play weddings when I was little. I also had play forts (even though I’m not planning on going into the military), operated a play grocery store (even though I’ll probably never be a business owner), and pretended to be a variety of animals (and manage not to have some identity crisis). I played wedding and I played house, but I don’t think I’m insane.

Someday I’ll want to be married. I’ll probably want to have children and own a house and crap like that. I’m fairly certain I’ll be a good wife and a good mother. Those are things I want for my life, but I'm not planning them out because guesswhat, I’m not there yet.

For one thing, planning a wedding without a partner seems like a bad plan. Say I get my heart set on a church wedding and I ended up with a person of a different faith? What if I wanted to get married on a beach and my partner hates beaches? What if I wanted a small wedding and my partner wants a huge wedding? Thinking about this stuff before having someone to think about it with just seems like a bad plan.

That said, what the heck is the big deal with weddings? I mean, I’ll have a wedding but why are they such a big deal? I mean, really. A couple wants to commit themselves to each other and have a family. Oh… kay… With or without the ritual, that would probably be the case. It’s “hey, Mom and Dad, this person is now so close to me that I want them to be a member of this family, I want to be a member of theirs, and I want to possibly create more family with them.” Dang, that’s pretty heavy. Huh, maybe something that heavy needs a ritual. But(!) it probably doesn’t need everyoneinthecity to be there. I mean, isn’t that a really personal, heart-heavy decision? Isn’t that something that you share with the people really close to you, not your brother’s uncle’s best friend?

I just don’t get the big deal with weddings. It seems like they are just a big party to celebrate the fact that you love someone so much you can’t ever picture breaking up with them. Well, that’s nice, but why do you need to spend thousands on a cake that will be gone in an hour or on overpriced invitations? Your lives will be the same the day after the marriage as they were the day before, but you’ll be out a whole bunch of money and have 6 toasters to return.

I don't know. I want a nice wedding and a nice dress in my nice church, but I feel like some people spend terrible amounts of money on the fleeting experience. I know it's an experience we will cherish for our entire lives, but aren't our entire lives more important than that experience? Anyway, shouldn't a sacred event be met with more humility? Shouldn't a wedding reflect the people it is uniting and their future together, not fantastical childhood fantasies? If my partner wanted me to re-enact the war games or alien invasions he played as a child (and expected me to pay thousands of dollars to make it realistic), I think I'd be a little weirded out.

Bleh.

Anyway, women obsessed with weddings are crazy. No wonder men are scared of marriage. If men were like that about marriage, I wouldn’t want to marry one, either.

god in the image of man

2012-05-28T11:37:00.000-07:00

"Man created God in his own image." Imagine that you are Durkheim and explain briefly what this statement would mean for you.

Durkheim saw religion as being the product of men and society. Durkheim believed that a society projected its values onto a God, making those values sacred. Worshipping their god was essentially worshipping the values of their society. It gave their values more meaning and provided justification for enforcing their rules and values.

In this way, man created God (or gods...) in his image. Man projected values onto God(/s) and worshipped the god and thusly their values.

quotation

2012-05-27T09:53:00.000-07:00

“The paradox which wrecks so many promising theories of education is that the training which produces skill is so very apt to stifle imaginative zest. Skill demands repetition, and imaginative zest is tinged with impulse. Up to a certain point each gain in skill opens new paths for the imagination. But in each individual formal training has its limit of usefulness. Beyond that limit there is degeneration: ‘The lilies of the field toil not, neither do they spin.’”
--Alfred North Whitehead, from Process and Reality

cancer is my new boogeyman

2012-05-26T10:37:00.000-07:00

This is old, but I like it:

Today I was reading Harper’s (because I still read stuff on paper, like an 80-year-old woman). I’m a bit behind in my subscription, so I was reading an article from an older issue on the evolution of cancer, as is evident in the cancer “epidemic” of Tasmanian Devils. I say “epidemic” because the cancer is contagious and may bring the population to extinction in 25 years.

So now, here I am, sitting on the bus, illogically terrified at the prospect of cancer swarming over humanity like a plague of locusts. I’m imagining cancer chunking on my arm like feta cheese. If I thought about this long enough, I could probably get myself to faint.

As someone who’s witnessed how cancer can transform a healthy person into a state of pathetic helplessness, completely robbing one of their agency in just about every aspect of life, the prospect of cancer becoming as easily transmittable as Herpes or a bacterial infection has me pondering a reality where I effectively flip off environmentalism and buy a lifetime supply of latex gloves in a paranoid attempt to protect myself from feta cheese arms.

While the threat of terrorism seems too improbable to bother worrying about, since, as an American, I seem to be protected from such evils by being on the side of the most terror-fying nation, the threat of cancer seems an entirely probable imposition on my future. Cancer cannot be bombed, tortured, threatened, or converted. Cancer recognizes not the privilege of my white middle class status when it attacks my system.

While it’s improbable that I’ll die of a gunshot wound or in a car crash, dying of cancer is an entirely likely option. As cancer becomes fitter as an acting force in this world, staying out of the sun and away from chemicals in my food may not be enough to rescue me from a horrible, slow death by feta cheese arms.

Cancer is coming for me and Obamacare cannot save me.

…
…
…

I’m sort of kidding. You can decide about which parts.

:::::::::::::::

Percentage of all income gains during the Bush Administration that have gone to the top 1 percent of earners: 75
--according to Emmanuel Saez, University of California, Berkeley

:::::::::::::::

:::::::::::::::

transiently useful

2012-05-25T09:19:00.000-07:00

“Each new epoch enters upon its career by waging unrelenting war upon the aesthetic gods of its immediate predecessor. Yet the culminating fact is conscious, rational life refuses to conceive itself as a transient enjoyment, transiently useful. In the order of the physical world its role is defined by its introduction of novelty.”
--Alfred North Whitehead, from Process and Reality

Harper's Weekly Review

ridiculous consumerism

2012-05-24T10:22:00.000-07:00

What's stupider that spending a ridiculous amount of money on a luxury car? Spending a ridiculous amount of money on a luxury car that's hot pink.

If you'd like to see part 1 of ridiculous consumerism, follow the link.

useful terms: emic and etic

2012-05-23T09:22:00.000-07:00

Contrast the meaning of "emic" and "etic" perspectives.

"Emic" is looking at the religious group from the perspective of someone within the group. They practice the religion, believe in its theology, participate in its rituals, and are a member of its community. They tend not to look at their religion scientifically and experience the religion uniquely and personally.

The "etic" perspective is the perspective of an outside observer. Their approach is generally more scientific and objective. This can lead in many ways to a better understanding of the religion, but it also limits them in many ways. Their experience is very different from that of the "emic" because they are not a part of the religious community. One needs both "emic" and "etic" perspectives to best understand a religious tradition.

Things of interest to me today:

Chronicling Mitt's Mendacity, Vol. XVIII

all or nothing

2012-05-22T17:43:00.000-07:00

“Either your experience is of no content, of no change, or it is of a perceptible amount of content or change. Your acquaintance with reality grows literally by buds or drops of perception. Intellectually and on reflection you can divide these into components, but as immediately given, they come totally or not at all.”
--William James

Things of interest to me today:

Chronicling Mitt's Mendacity: Vol. XVII

role reversal and the FUTURE OF BLOGGING

2012-05-21T10:36:00.000-07:00

So I am working out doing a beauty product blog with my internet celebrity friend, Flo. I say that, but we were besties before she was an internet celebrity, I promise. Flo and I met my sophmore year of college through our ex boyfriends. We have been good friends ever since and at one point we lived together in SF. Now we just hang out all the time. She works for MacLife Magazine as a tech journalist and I maintain cemeteries, so we are basically the same.

Cosmetic Critiques

understanding the bible

2012-05-18T17:25:00.000-07:00

It is easy to think that we can understand the Bible. We can all read, right? There is a layering of meaning, a multitude of meanings, existing simultaneously. While it’s easy to take the word at face value, I don’t believe it to be the best approach to the Bible… especially since (and I presume you are reading an English translation) our translations are profoundly lacking.

Comparative Religious Studies has opened my eyes in a different way to the complexity of religion and its history. It is my experience that has brought me to my own interpretation of faith, just as it is your experience that has brought you to where you are.

I respect endeavors to love God and walk with Jesus. It is my goal to do the same, though I may see this path differently than most Christians.

Things of interest to me today:

Hehe, I love Natalie Dee.

some stuff and crazy cat lady-ness

2012-05-17T09:55:00.000-07:00

So I've been thinking about something that all of my friends seem to bring up when they are getting to know me: the different sides of my personality...

I am often very childish. I hate cold weather and complain about it (although it was recently brought to my attention that this is really the only unreasonable thing I ever complain about). I love Disneyland and watching Disney movies. I cannot, for the life of me, seem to keep a room that is as clean as I'd like it to be. My socks all have silly things on them. I love stuffed animals.

That said, I am also often your mom. I'm a more frugal shopper than most people in my age bracket. When you're shopping with me, I will probably tell you that you can get something for cheaper elsewhere, that you have something just like it, or that it's too expensive to be justified. I am known to sit and crochet while watching television (like an old cat woman? oh gosh). I like making food for people and decorating things. I have two friends who have said (mostly jokingly) that they are giving their children to me, because I will be an awesome mom.

I hate doing my hair and makeup. If I "do" (and by "do" I really only mean "blow-dry") my hair more than twice in a week, there was probably a holiday... and I meant that literally. I hate dressing up and would live in jeans and pajamas if it were up to me. I don't like to shop. I don't care about celebrities. I watch football games. I am all femininist-y. I like nature and camping and climbing things. I like music and shows more than most women... my music taste is also a little more awesome than most women's and isn't remotely related to how attractive the musicians are. I like masculine television and movies.

I can be really nerdy. Let's be real... I like action movies, I have a huge Buffy/Joss Whedon obsession which lands me reading comic books, I love Star Wars and Terminator: the Sarah Connor Chronicles. I blog a lot. I own the entire series of Sailor Moon in Japanese. I have a little Death Star on my desk (right behind my business cards?).

I can be an intellectual elitist. I pretty much only read academic stuff, I subscribe to Harper's magazine like any snobby liberal, and I'll get into many fine arguments about religion and will be that girl at a party who turns things into a serious conversation by talking about politics or Ante-Nicene Christianity or something.

I am also a church girl. I was a youth leader and I volunteer for a lot. I show up Sundays; I make cookies for Coffee Hour; I am on the Care, Fellowship, and Evangelism committee; I go on church trips; I am an active member of the 20/30s group; I am in the choir; I’m on the Local Outreach Task Force; I come to extra church events... this means that there are a bunch of old ladies who think I am just about the most precious little thing.

I can be offensive sometimes.

I can be very hyper and strange, yet I am also often so nervous that I am shaking (I often say it's caffeine) and if you put me in front of a lot of people, I might faint. Seriously.

I make very strange first impressions precisely because I am such a nervous person. I become very unlike myself, yet when I am nervous I am not necessarily a certain "way." Sometimes I am energetic and goofy, sometimes I am ditsy and lame, sometimes I am quiet and awkward, I always avoid eye contact, and sometimes I say rude things. Sometimes I do all of the above. With most people I meet, in my first couple of months knowing them, there will be at least 5 instances where they say something like, "I wouldn't expect that of you," or "that doesn't seem like something you'd be into."

Aaaaaaaaand I dunno. I am weird… and may have multiple personalities.

Not-items of the day, my cats, who I woke up to find laying on top of each other next to my pillow on Saturday:

What snuggly goofballs. My cats are better than all the other cats in the world. So: I love that stuff. Waking up next to my cuddly cats makes me super happy. They're usually hanging out on my legs, but it's more adorable this way. I got up and fed them, then went back to bed. They came back to cuddle with me again:

Pardon the bed-hairness and whatever, but again: my cats are better than all the other cats in the world. Little cuddle bugs.

right christians, wrong christians, party dress

2012-05-16T10:33:00.000-07:00

(originally a response to a comment)

While some communities simply view religious texts differently, I think there is a great deal of ignorance on the part of many Christian communities. There are many Christians who could tell you little to nothing about the context within which their sacred texts were written and have less knowledge than that about the complications that arise in translation processes, not only because of the differences in language but because of understanding the context.

Much of the disagreement has to do with different interpretations and selective readings of sacred texts... to an extent, every reading is selective because of how much contradiction there is within scripture.

It is definitely a tendency for Christians to label Christians who hold different positions on such things as the "wrong" ones and I will certainly acknowledge that to a certain extent, I am guilty of that. I believe that there are certain things that Christians currently disagree about that needn't be disagreed over... one side is simply wrong. There are other issues which I disagree with other Christians about, yet understand their position and their religious justification for their position.

The reality of the world is that there are many people who will never change their paradigms-- they are raised in worldviews that I would consider damaging. I would have little success arguing with people in communities like those, where minds are made and people blindly obey leadership and completely trust voices of authority uncritically. I don't have a solution, though I would definitely have arguments with these people, hoping that some logic might get through...

My "solution," though it isn't really one, is to raise my own voice. I choose to engage in dialogue and participate in furthering the causes which I believe in, hoping that for those whose minds are not made up, or at least are not so set in stone, the voice that I raise will be persuasive. I hope that the voice of my church will be persuasive, that people will hear our message and hear it as a more holistic, spiritual, and just answer to the soul and the world... I believe that the worldview my church perpetuates is working toward a better world than the ones that others seem to be holding onto. I hope that in our actions and that in walking our own path, that becomes apparent to people.

I guess that I see living by example as most effective. I think that's what Jesus did (as well as some arguing). While I do think interventionary action is necessary in groups where their actions become violent and destructive, I don't think it's ever very effective to try to break up causes that people truly believe in-- you victimize them and vilify yourself when doing so.

meh.

LINKS OF THE NOW:

Check out this interesting discussion about how people perceive emotion in men and women… oh how deep set the sexism is.

Which Produce to Buy Organic-- Before you head to the grocery store/farmer's market, take note of which fruits and veggies it's more important to buy organic.

Item of the day:

You may remember that my friend had a Mad Men-themed birthday party, which is why I bought this outfit. So: here I am before heading out to her birthday. I intended to to my hair in theme, but that just ended with me yelling at my reflection and blow-drying my hair back to normal. I fail so hard at styling my hair.

evil, free will, and powder foundation

2012-05-15T09:37:00.000-07:00

Written in college:

I don't have my beliefs on this all worked out, so bear with me. It's more of a brainstorm.

Now, evil as a force is apparently a polytheistic notion (according to Professor Giddings)... if evil isn't a force, it's just kind of a relative "wrong." Then we're just saying something's evil because we don't like it. That seems a bit silly. If there is evil, shouldn't it be something that exists in itself? Relative evil just doesn't work for me. I'm being redundant. But if evil is a force, then God created it... So if evil isn't a force and isn't relative, it seems to be a construct. Anyone following? I'm tired.

Tangent: Now, when a person does something horrible out of greed, we would call that evil. But where is the line for this? To what degree is selfishness evil? Is all selfishness evil? Evil's a rather strong word for me not sharing a cookie, ya know?

Back: Something that was brought up... Evil is a necessary for good. And therefore, evil is a necessary for God. Now, this seems a little fallacious to me. There doesn't have to be evil in order for there to be God. Perhaps there needs to be evil in order for us to perceive good, but I dunno about that God part that Giddings drew as a necessary conclusion. Anyway... let's entertain it. If evil is necessary for God, for us to perceive God and for God to exist as relative to this opposing bad, then we're saying the world is dualistic? Dualism wasn't picked up by the Hebrews until exile in Babylonia, when they were introduced to Zoroastrianism, as I understand it. So I would say that evil is not necessary for our comprehension of God, because the Hebrews went a good long while believing in God without adopting dualistic views. Evil is simply a necessary for dualism (or this form).

So what is the nature of this "evil"? If evil is an entity, then God created it, right? If evil is a concept, then it's a human construct. Now, I know I'm not supposed to be imposing my moralities on God, but I don't think God created evil. There's my bias. I think that God created free will, though, because I'm pretty sure I have it. So then evil is a construct of human morality. It's our understanding of us doing things that God doesn't want, that hurt others, that do more harm than good, or something of that sort. Evil is the name that we assigned to things that people do that are horrible. We'll go with a common definition of evil, something like "really bad" or "intentionally doing something wrong" (roughly the definition James gave it). So evil is the result of free will? (oooh)

God has purpose. God gave us free will. Now, if God is God as I understand, then God's not wrong. I mean, hello,God is God. God's purpose will be achieved (God'd be a lame God if God were wrong about stuff all the time... hopefully so many people wouldn't be believing in God). God "wants" us to choose God, to find purpose, but God's not worried about time. God's not really constrained by it. The "particulars" of our experience are not God's plan. The small choices that we make are our choices and will only reflect us (I'm sounding a bit Deist, huh?). On the small scale, they may lead us off the path, but human experience on the whole must necessarily ultimately move in the right direction. Because God is God. And God can't be wrong. Me turning left on the freeway is not God's plan. It's me exercising free will. God has a purpose, and given the infinity of time, we'll find it.

I think I sound mildly crazy. Ah, that's okay. It's just me following my mind's tangents.

"Humans are the only creatures that refuse to be what they are." - Albert Camus

Item of the day:

Aveda Inner Light Mineral Pressed Powder

This is my "foundation." That's in quotes because I am not sure if it is technically foundation, but whatever, if it isn't, I guess I don't use foundation. IT'S WHAT I USE ON MY FACE.

I've mentioned that I get most of my makeup from Sephora. This isn't from Sephora, it's from Aveda. I used to use Chanel foundation. Let me tell you about that (as if it's not boring).

I used to go into Nordstrom occasionally to have my makeup done and buy something before going out. Chanel always did a good job and their foundation was great... so I bought it and used it for a while. However, Chanel foundation doesn't seem to last well when you get to the end of the bottle. It's increasingly less smooth at application. That's kinda crap for a $50 bottle of foundation, if you ask me.

So: this Aveda business is way better for a number of reasons: 1. It's not $50. It's $24, which is still kinda pricey, but it's half the price. 2. It lasts longer (which may surprise you since it's so small). 3. It's not better or worse at the end of the... container that it's in. 4. It's better for your skin. 4.5. I have a feeling it's also more sustainably produced and ethically tested, but I don't really know, so just ignore me.

I'm sure there are more reasons but you can google them if you really care that much. I love this stuff. It doesn't come with a compact, but whatever, you don't need one. It can stay in its plastic and work just as well. It comes with the little paddy-do shown above, but I use a short brush (ya know, those little squatty ones with stub handles).

I use 04 Honey, which is a little lighter than my skin tone. I add a bit of bronzer on my forehead/cheekbones so I don't look ill. I find it easier to blend lighter stuff than darker stuff. Stuff that's slightly darker than your natural skin tone will just make you look dirty and obviously I am an expert because Religious Studies majors are required to take 6 units on Makeup for Ritual Sacrifice.

Not really.

Things of interest to me today:
Harper's Weekly Review

Jainism and second hand stores

2012-05-14T16:40:00.000-07:00

Explain the role of ahimsa and samyama in Jain life. How are these principles applied to daily living? How are they applied differently by renunciates and lay people? What are the compromises, if any, that are made for practical reasons?

In the Jain lifestyle, ahimsa and samyama are very important. Ahimsa, the concept of non-injury, and samyama, the idea of restraint, seem to go hand in hand and require a lot of self control from any Jain. Although expectations are different for "clergy" and lay people, the Jain lifestyle is very demanding.

Because Jains are not supposed to injure living things and practice restraint, they are vegetarians. They also don't wear leather or other animal products. Jains must make it a point in their lives not to support businesses that do these things either. This can, understandably, become problematic. It is a difficult path that requires determination and an enormous amount of self control.

For Jain clergy, samyama seems to mean much more. As part of ahimsa, they are not allowed to drive, as it injures bugs and things in the air. They have a specific wardrobe, diet, and lifestyle in general. They dress in white robes to represent their purity. They are to walk everywhere they go. The monks and nuns do not work and rely on the lay people to stay alive. The do not engage in sexual activity or any other "tempting" activities. Their asceticism and devotion is truly admirable. Of course, this level is beyond that of an average Jain, who owns possessions, may drive a car, and presumably has a family.

Compromises are made. Obviously, some injury to life has to be made in order for us to stay alive. Jains are allowed to eat plants. They are allowed to drive and use forms of transportation other than walking. But they hold strongly to ahimsa and samyama and lead lives with high levels of self control.

*Do do do* The more you know.

Item of the day:

More awkward pictures of second hand clothing!

As you may be catching, I have favorite places to shop. Second hand clothes don't make me feel guilty about being a consumer. This item is from Crossroads on Irving (again). What's awesome about Crossroads (and stores like it) is that it is oriented toward a certain demographic. I used to think second hand stores were all like Goodwill. Goodwill is awesome, don't get me wrong. They employ people who are differently-abled, ex-convicts, and other people who need help being reintroduced (or introduced!) to employment. Goodwill is a giant mess, though, let's be real. I can find a section of sweaters that are my size, but there are lots of different size-small women who wear sweaters. I am probably not going to be interested in the same sweater that my grandmother would be, even if we are the same size. That's the problem with Goodwill.

SF has some awesome second hand stores, all of which are organized in different ways and many of which are oriented toward certain styles of fashion, like Crossroads.

Second hand stores are also awesome because they are CHEAP. Hooray for that business. Clothing can be so dang expensive these days, especially if you're trying to buy something that wasn't sewn by an enslaved 10-year-old in another country. One of my favorite things is a brown sun dress I bought at Crossroads before I went to meet Caleb's parents for the first time in New Mexico. It was originally from Banana Republic (pricey), but cost me $12. How cool is that? So cool.

Word.

technology strikes again

2012-05-13T12:26:00.000-07:00

This is old, but I like it: So I just accidentally deleted a pretty awesome rant. I am going to try to recreate it, but LBH, it won't be the same.

MY IPOD IS BROKEN. I listen to music kind of a lot, so this basically is ruining my life. I use my ipod (hooked up to a speaker) as an alarm clock, so I am struggling along with my cell phone and hoping that I don't push snooze too many times.

I also use my ipod to hook into the PA at work, since I don't want to listen to the "work ipod," which is full of Tim McGraw, Ashlee Simpson, Pussycat Dolls, and other American Idol-esque stars who have little vocal talent and whose writers (since they don't write their own stuff) have little skill beyond memorizing what chordal patterns appeal to 15-year-old girls and using them repeatedly to create completely unemotional melodies which are used to carry lyrics with absolutely no depth. ANDTAKEABREATH

So I trundled over to the Apple store, where I was informed that my hard drive had failed, which apparently happens, generally, after about 2 years. My ipod made it 4 1/2. So, my options are, according to AppleMan: replace the hard drive in my ipod, which would cost roughly $225 (plus tax) or purchase another product with Apple's "buy-back" (aka: we-feel-sorry-for-you-because-we-make-products-which-only-last-two-years) program, which gives me 10% off of a new product.

Now, my ipod is one of those ancient 40gb ones with the grey screen and which only holds music. While a nano might not be the hugest investment ever, I need at least 40gb, seeing as how my ipod hosts 30gb right now... in just music. Yes, I know, I'm rad. Anyway, something with comparable storage would cost me at least $225 (plus tax).

Now, because I am not a downloader (I still buy CDs and import them), this means that I am not entirely music-less. I can still use my loverly stereo, which plays 60 CDs through some pretty decent speakers. So thank Buddha I am not normal about downloading.

Now, some high school kid told me yesterday about something called the internet and something else called ebay. Using these strange things, I can apparently buy an ipod for far less than $250 and avoid listening to American Idol marathons at work for much longer. Of course, it didn't occur to me to buy something on the internet because... I don't buy things on the internet. I still listen to CDs and shop in stores like it's 1991 or something.

Let's just hope I can save enough money to buy myself a used ipod before I do something horrible like, oh, watch televison.

:::::::::::::::

image from http://www.marriedtothesea.com

i couldn't answer my phone because i was WASHING OFF THIS MASCARA

2012-05-12T12:12:00.000-07:00

(image from http://www.toothpastefordinner.com)

I hate answering my phone. A lot of the time, I will look at my phone and just decide that it’s not worth answering it. If you don’t leave a message, it will annoy me. The truth is that I just want to listen to your message so that I can know what the heck you wanted without actually having to feel obligated to make awkward conversation with you over the phone. If you don’t leave a message, I will be curious as to why you called me and have to call you back. I hate that. Just leave me a message. Or better yet, text me.

::::::::::::::::::::

:::::::::::::::

"But beauty comes to those who have been waiting
For something that is bigger than themselves."
--Bright Eyes, from "I Watched You Taking Off" off of "A Collection of Songs Written and Recorded 1995 – 1997

::::::::::

Item of the day:

This mascara is part of a set of 3. You may remember (you probably don't) that I don't pay for mascara. When I buy my makeup from Sephora (which is where I get most of it), I time it so that I get cool free gifts. Sephora runs promotions at times when they offer free additional jumbo samples; they give you 3 free samples with every online order; shipping is free on orders over $50; they have a point systems that you can also use to redeem for free stuff. As you may imagine, if you time purchases correctly so as to cash in on points, promotions, free shipping, and free samples (and especially when you stash Christmas' gift cards), you can make out with a bunch of high quality stuff from Sephora for a relatively small sum, especially if you don't buy drug store makeup/hair products and you're used to spending money on this stuff.

So: shopping this way, I never buy mascara or perfume. I cashed in on an offer a couple months ago (or something) and got the above free mascara as part of the dealio. IT SUCKS. The primer you are supposed to use before the black mascara is clumpy and gross. With each of the steps, my eyelashes got clumpier and nastier. I felt like the pathetic old lady from Great Expectations, which is never a good way to feel. Without the primer, the mascara isn't clumpy, but it is sort of useless, like I brushed water on my eyelashes.

Thank goodness I didn't pay for that stuff and thank goodness I had a few other (free) mascaras in the bank, like a couple from Lancome. Lancome has super fantastic mascara. If you're going to spend money on pricey makeup, buy that, not this poo stuff.

Things of interest to me today:

It's official: President Obama Supports Same Sex Marriage

Word.

joss whedon and human trafficking

2012-05-11T12:38:00.000-07:00

So! This weekend is a tad on the crazy side. Tonight I am seeing The Avengers. In the interest of seeing it with special friends (Florence and Erik), we had to wait this long. Now, for those of you who don't know, I am a member of a cult: the cult of Joss Whedon fans.

Joss Whedon wrote and directed the movie. He is a comic book writer and screen writer. He created Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly, Dr. Horrible, and Dollhouse and wrote and directed for each of those shows. He also wrote the original Buffy movie, but hated what the producers and directors managed to do to it, which is why it's so different from the show. Firefly spawned Serenity, Joss' only other big screen project as director.

As a writer, it's another story: he claims involvement with Toy Story, Alien 4, Cabin in the Woods, Waterworld, etc. He has also written comic books for a variety of series, but including X-Men, which is pretty popular, I hear.

All of these things share a common thread: nerds. Joss Whedon's fans tend to be weirdos like me with crazy devotion to the above projects. ANYWAY. I am SO excited that Joss' first BIG DEAL thing was a CRAZYBIGDEAL. He blew Harry Potter out of the park, guys. That's a big dang deal. It has 93% on Rotten Tomatoes (96% fan reviews). I am so used to having to convince people that Joss Whedon's stuff is fantastic and they should give it a try. I think from here on out, my work is done.

Ahem. So I am seeing that tonight.

Tomorrow I am getting up at some stupid hour to drive to Oakland to spend 9 - 4 in workshops dealing with human trafficking and more specifically: sex trafficking. As I've learned more about this recently, my eyes have been opened to the crazy figures: 27 million people are slaves in today's world. That's crazy, especially in cases of sex trafficking, where people are basically being raped repetitively for years until they are too sick with STDs and discarded. Prostitution is terrible and should be illegal EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME as far as I'm concerned, but I think may people believe that people become prostitutes like people become plumbers. Most women are coerced into it with drugs, bribery, lies, violence, blackmail, and threats if they aren't outright sold or kidnapped into it. I can't wrap my head around any of it because it's cruelty to some kind of exponential degree. It's really difficult to think about and be exposed to, but I feel like I need to challenge myself on this issue. Human trafficking is SO TERRIBLE that most of us "just can't." People don't want to hear about it or learn about it because it's just that terrible... but because of that, one of the most terrible abuses of humanity is incredibly prevalent.

The average age of people entering into prostitution is 14 years old. AVERAGE, which means that roughly half of those people are younger. That should show us that these people aren't entering into it by choice. Fourteen year-olds can't make those kinds of decisions. There is no amount of italics or bold that can relay how insane this is and how prevalent it is. Young (mostly) women are sold by impoverished families into this slavery, kidnapped from small towns, or forced into it with blackmail, threats, violence, and forced drug addiction. It's like some movie plot that you think happens to 1 in a gazillion people, except it happens to millions of people every day and some how our global society is complicit. Anyway, research it.

After that is my friend's Mad Men-themed birthday party. I guess I need to figure out how to do my hair for that now that I, like, don't have any.

Sunday is Mother's Day (duh).

Item of the day:

This shirt is yet another second hand item from Crossroads in the Inner Sunset. It hangs really nicely and the back is pretty cool:

Sorry that picture is weird and you can't really see the back. I guess the moral of this story is that I need to get better at taking pictures.

Anyway, the back is cool, but obviously requires a nude-colored tank top under it. As I mentioned a bit ago, it seems like most shirts I gravitate toward require tank tops underneath them, so I have a bunch now and it's not really a problem.

Things of interest to me today:

Because I am totally the plantescutioner.

Yummy Brunch in the Haight

2012-05-10T14:25:00.000-07:00

Breakfast burrito at Kate's Kitchen:

My partner and I have a few places that we like to frequent for Saturday morning brunch:

Art's Cafe
Herbivore
Sea Breeze Cafe

There are probably a couple more, but I can't be bothered to think about them.

Recently we tried Kate's Kitchen in the Lower Haight, which was not only super freaking cute, but delicious! We will have to go back.

Item of the day:

With the exception of my earrings, I wear the same jewelry every day: my diamond studs that were a 21st birthday gift, my watch, my cross (8th grade graduation gift from my parents), my class ring, and the above ring, which belonged to my grandmother. It's beautiful and I am complimented on it all the time. Once I even met someone who also had a similar ring that used to be her grandmother's. :) I'm sorry my phone didn't really pick up the colors... the ring has yellow and rose gold (I think they call it Black Hills gold, but I forget). Also, my skin is not that sallow-tinted.

Things of interest to me today:

Harper's Weekly Review

Chronicling Mitt's Mendacity, Vol. XVI

This comic from Married to the Sea:

dear creep

2012-05-09T09:54:00.000-07:00

Dear person from high school/ex boyfriend/creepo who is searching for me on the internet:

I am well. I live with my partner and our 2 cats in San Francisco. I am CFO of a small corporation. He is working for Google. We are happy, healthy, and live comfortably.

I have not gotten fatter or skinnier; my hair is shorter; my family is well.

I don't hang out with anyone from high school, really. I keep in touch with friends from choir, including one person who is still a bestie, but lives out of state.

Anything else you'd like to know?

views that guide my behavior

2012-05-08T12:06:00.000-07:00

I think Humanity exists for Humanity's sake, so that we can live and feel and love. Whatever pain or joy there may be in that, I find the most perfect beauty not based on how happy each of us are or the greater utility of the world, but because it is real... because everything has meaning to us and because that meaning is real. For me, there is no more profound truth than the reality of meaning.

I see nature as a beautiful miracle. The chances of life coming together in this place and in this way are ridiculously small, and the blessing of a consciousness that allows us to understand that should (should) inspire a world to appreciate it. This system is a blip in time (as far as the eternity of the universe is concerned), and it seems to me only logical that we would want to prolong this miraculous experience of Life as long as possible. And, of course, that involves protecting the world that sustains us.

word of the now and useless buttons

2012-05-07T11:55:00.000-07:00

WORDS OF THE NOW:

“We have seen the highest circle of spiraling powers. We have named this circle God. We might have given it any other name we wished: Abyss, Mystery, Absolute Darkness, Absolute Light, Matter, Spirit, Ultimate Hope, Ultimate Despair, Silence. But we have named it God because only this name, for primordial reasons, can stir our hearts profoundly. And this deeply felt emotion is indispensable if we are to touch, body with body, the dread essence beyond logic.”
--Nikos Kazantzakis

god is unconditioned and michael jackson is still a rock star

2012-05-06T15:43:00.000-07:00

I wrote this one day after my philosophy class:

If God is all-powerful, if God can do anything, can God make a round square?

Well, firstly, "square" has been defined by us (humanity). It is within our systems, as is "round". So, we are challenging God to do something outside of our systems.

Now, say God can do this. God can create round squares, something that is impossible. God is unconditioned. We, however, are conditional. Our perception is limited. If God created a round square, what would happen? We would not be able to understand "round square." It is illogical. I cannot see this round square within the limits of my existence. I cannot comprehend God or God’s creation. My experience and understanding is limited to the bounds of my conditional human mind.

Evil. Does evil exist? Now, everyone will probably disagree... I just don't think it does. Does that make me immoral? I'd like to think not. Bad and wrong exist. These things are products of misunderstanding. Of mis-education. I don't believe that there exists a person who desires to hurt others without reason. It's based on reasoning acquired from miseducation (or some physical reason, like an imbalance). Evil doesn't exist outside reason. Evil is a construct of human morality.

Item of the day:

This Captain EO shirt. These days I seem to be into blousy-looking things and clothing with texture, but this shirt is fantastic. I got it in Disneyland, which, as we all know, is the happiest place on Earth. You may or may not know how much I love Disneyland (I am going next month), and you may or may not know how much I love Michael Jackson ('s music), but this shirt is a combination of both. If you have not seen Captain EO, my sincere apologies. It is an 18-minute movie starring MJ with Coppola and Lucas. Those are some powerful names, my friends, and those names did a good job. Michael Jackson and his crew of muppets (they are on a space ship) visit a planet which they save with the power of music and love. It is SO cheesy and weird and COME ON, if you don't think Michael's dance moves are cool, you probably don't like Disneyland, either, because you probably hate fun and happiness.

Anyway, you should go to Disneyland and watch Captain EO. Or you can download it, but since it's in 3D, it'll look weird. Also, your couch will probably not bounce to the beat, which is a bummer.

lao tzu and earrings

2012-05-05T15:37:00.000-07:00

This is the profound, simple truth:

You are the master of your life and death.

What you do is what you are.

Lao Tzu

Item of the day:

It was really hard to get a good picture of these earrings. They are very light weight, so they move very easily. On the plus side, at least this picture doesn't show whatever weird expression I am making.

So! These earrings were a gift from my superawesome boyfriend who apparently has fantastic taste in earrings. They are by Nervous Systems, a company which makes jewelry using patterns which occur in nature. They make some super cool things. He bought me a second pair of earrings by them (both were no-reason-gifts, which is its own kind of fantastic), but I managed to lose one of those on Christmas and I'm not cool enough to get away with wearing mis-matched earrings.

Things of interest today: Jobless Claims Show Sharp Improvement.

i am religious

2012-05-04T09:53:00.000-07:00

What is religion?

I would say that religion is a system of beliefs and values one has that are related to a history and, most often, a community of others who hold similar beliefs and values derived from that shared history. I would argue that religion is one’s dominant paradigm, whether or not that paradigm can be categorized under the traditional understanding of “religion.” Therefore, political views, atheism, etc. can be considered religions. One’s religion is, more simply, whatever worldview most inspires one’s morality, values, beliefs, and practices. I don’t believe there is anyone who isn’t religiously devoted to something. It’s part of self-identity for most of us.

For me, religion isn’t something that helps me sleep better at night or provides me with some sense of comfort that people who die end up in some kind of Disneyland. My religion is a system which provides a holistic approach to bettering the world and my person. Derived from a history of people seeking to do good in the world (in its better moments), it’s a study of this history, a commitment to justice, and a lens with which to look inward at the kind of relationship I seek to have with myself, others, and the higher order of being. While religion provides me a sense of inner peace and orients my life in a way that enhances meaning, it doesn’t make me giddy.

Item of the day:

Again with the weird face. Sorry. I like this shirt a lot. It's soft, flowy, and pretty. It requires a shirt under it, but it seems like most of my shirts do, since apparently companies like to make super thin shirts so they can save money. I got it at Nordstrom. Sometimes I like Nordstrom a lot and others not so much.

Nordstrom has fantastic customer service and they pay their employees well. I will almost never shop in stores that are too messy or that have staffs that don't know anything. I worked in retail for just short of a decade and I can't handle it when a retail store seems like it's run by a bunch of monkeys. If I spend money on things, I want it to a: benefit companies I believe in, b: be ethically produced, and c: be a pleasant experience. I don't order clothes online, because it's a recipe for disappointment and ill-fitting clothes.

Anywho. Nordstrom. Much of the store is a bit outside of my spending limits, but the BP section isn't too bad. However, since BP is oriented toward a younger crowd, sometimes I walk in there and think, Who would wear this?! Then I realize that I am officially not a young person anymore... so sometimes I am not into their selection. Also, I am trying to become more conscious of the clothing that I buy and what is involved in its production, so depending on which vendors Nordstrom uses and whether they employ, like, human trafficking anywhere in their production process, I guess I won't be buying those items anymore.

Also, you can say goodbye to this hair: I am cutting it off tomorrow. Yikes! I haven't cut my hair short since high school, which is longer ago than I'd like to admit... again, I am no longer a young person. Dangit.